The Things we’re “supposed to” do.

So if I’m entirely honest, this blog was started as something I thought I was “supposed to” do. As I started my website I read up on how to increase your SEO, boost new client referrals, educate visitors on your website and all that jazz. Also to be honest, I’m not a writer. I never have been. Throughout my years of life I’ve had the bright idea to start a journal many times over. I’ll write in it for a few days or maybe, maybe a few weeks, but then it gathers dust. It’s just not my thing and I’ve known this for many years. Yet - here I am trying to write a blog AND post regularly!

So why do I do this to myself? Why do so many of us do these types of things to ourselves? As we get near to 2023, there’ll be a lot of New Year’s Resolutions being thrown around, goals being set and intentions being made. Most people really believe that they’ll do the things they set out to do, but many times they fall flat or struggle.

What is the difference between goals and intentions set that get followed and the ones that drop off so quickly? I think that it has something to do with whether the goals we set align with who we truly are and our set of values, or if we’re doing things because we feel compelled to do them by something or someone outside of ourselves. Whether the thing is a “supposed to” or a “want to”. This outside influence could be endless social media posts that tell us we’re not enough, our family who’s critical of us, our relationships with friends and living up to what they're doing or our romantic partners and feeling like we have to be a certain way to be loved.

I believe that even more powerful is the voice in our head that has been there our whole lives. This is the one that beats us up whenever we make a mistake or don’t quite reach the accomplishment we’d set out to do in that moment. This is sometimes a voice that we don’t even notice - it’s so ever-present that we just accept it and don’t even question it.

But what if we did? What if we were able to notice and hear that voice, observe our emotions around the thoughts, check our own motivations for our actions and consciously choose to align our choices with our own values and not someone else’s version of who we ought to be? This is exactly what needs to happen for us to live life more authentically and with more joy.

This however is a practice and one that isn’t easily done. It’s a “simple not easy” type of change. I challenge anyone reading this to start practicing the observance of your thoughts, slowing down enough to catch them instead of them flying by while we’re on auto-pilot during our day. Once you start noticing the thoughts more often, you can consider the source and whether it really matches with who you are and what you want to get out of that moment and your life as a whole. This observation can create space for more intentional choices, more opportunity to honor ourselves and our needs and help us be more compassionate to ourselves, and also to others.

I challenge you today NOT to do one thing you typically would that falls under the “supposed to” category for you. If you’re brave, tell me what that one thing was for you today in the comments.